Every year, 10 Special Benanas are awarded to the best and worst things. There is no logic or rationale to the categories…just whatever I happen to think of. So without further ado, this year’s Special Benana winners are:
Golden Benana for Best Oedipuss:
Nobody – Maddie declined the award this year out of modesty
(runner-up: no one else was considered)
Golden Benana for Best Neighbourhood Thing:
Tyler the Waiter from Pepper’s, who serves our brunch every weekend and the one weekend he was away he left a note for the other waiter with our usual order and a list of things our daughter likes
(runner-up: all of Pepper’s)
Golden Benana for Best Moment of Pure Genius:
When Melanie asked me if I could name the 3 spices in something she cooked, and it only took me 4 guesses!
(runner-up: when I put up a whiteboard without measuring anything)
Golden Benana for Most Surprising and Lovely Turn of Events:
It’s the fall and all of a sudden Toronto is the best city to be a sports fan?
Golden Benana for Gorgeous-est Moment of the Year:
When Captain America steps out of the shadows for the first time in Avengers, and he has that beard and that look on his face, and it’s just…yeah
Golden Benana for Best Wife of Mine:
Melanie
(runner-up: Becca)
Golden Benana for Best Idea for a Graphic Novel I Had This Year:
The Dandelion – a superhero with the airs of a dandy, but the strength of a lion
(runner-up: someone’s house catches on fire, and they and their entire family are trapped in the house, grandparents and pets and everything, and the father of the house decides, in a moment of straight madness, to phone a 10 year old boy and he asks this 10 year old boy to come rescue him, and this kid is bonkers and decides to send a clumsy dalmatian to put out the fire, and the dalmatian trips on a soccer ball on the way there and everyone dies. It’s called Paw Patrol)
The Nick Hune-Brown Memorial Rotten Benana for the Most Unnecessary Throwing of Shade at the Golden Benanas:
Lorna Wright, for “Wow who does your graphics? Very impressive!”
(runner-up: Nick Hune-Brown, for “At least the Grahammies still have integrity”)
Rotten Benana for Thing That Was Both Annoying and Maybe Also the Harbinger of the End of Days:
My basement flooding
Rotten Benana for Worst Thing of the Year That For Some Reason No One Warned Me About:
The first 2-ish weeks of transitioning my daughter into daycare