Grahammies (2015)

Graham and his bros

Graham poses before the show with his brothers, Tristan and the other one.

Golden Grahammy – Jamie XX, In Colour

I like British artists because they spell words like “colour” correctly in their album titles. This album is great, except for the song “I know there’s gonna be (good times)” which everyone else seems to like. I like “Gosh.” A lot.

[Ed. note – obviously King Kunta is the number one music thing of the year, but the Grahammies are all politics so sometimes you get weird outcomes like this.]

Silver Grahammy – Vince Staples,  Summertime ’06

Best MC right now and unlike Kendrick, music you actually want to listen to rather than “appreciate.”

[Ed. note – oh, sure, don’t give him the award he obviously deserves and then get in a dig when he’s still stinging from the slight. Real classy.]

Bronze Grahammy – Grimes, Art Angels

I really hate this album and everything it represents about how it is okay to be a sellout and make offensively bland pop music. Grimes was something special in electronic music and now she’s not.  The song “Artangels” reminds me of Len’s “Steal my sunshine.” However, songs like “Flesh without blood” and “Venus fly” are amazing. I listen to some of this album a lot. I guess, I don’t see the light I saw in her before and it makes me sad.

[Ed. note – yeah, so sad and yet you still put her above King Kunta. Are the Grahammies worse than the Grammys? Discuss…]

 4th Place – Four Tet, Beautiful Rewind

I’ve got a backlog.

[Ed. note – I’ve got a bone to pick!]

 5th Place – Various Artists, Hotline Miami 2 OST

Some dross, but some truly great tunes as well. Makes me want to commit stylized violence.

[Ed. note – the first one was better. You know what wasn’t better? Anything…than King Kunta]

 6th Place – Kendrick Lamar, King Kunta

For the record, this song is at number 6 and the album is not on the list. Ben may change this, but for the record…

[Ed. note – for the record, the best song of the year is at number 6. Ben won’t change this, because Ben wants you to have the freedom to have your own perspective, but your perspective is wrong and everyone agrees. For the record…]

 7th Place – The Weeknd, Can’t Feel My Face

The Weeknd pulls a Grimes with the album this song is from. The song is the first Weeknd song that doesn’t make my wife’s skin crawl.

[Ed. note – House of Balloons?]

 8th Place – Yo Gabba Gabba, Boat Trip

My son thinks this song is called “Going on a goat trip,” which I really wish it was. Also, there are many other great Yo Gabba Gabba songs like “Party in my tummy,” or “Goodbye.”

[Ed. note – Fun fact: Graham trying to get his son to watch Yo Gabba Gabba when all his son wants to do is watch Paw Patrol is the seed of what will be the central conflict of the next 15 years of both of their lives]

 9th Place – High on Fire, Luminiferous

My son’s number 1. METALLLLL!!!!!

[Ed. note – see above fun fact. Note the hollow insistence nested in those five exclamation marks]

 10th Place – RATKING, So It Goes

Because cool people learn about new Hip Hop from New Yorker write-ups. That’s street.

[Ed. note – the New Yorker liked King Kunta too, probably…why wouldn’t you give the award to King Kunta?]

[Additional Ed. note – Uptown Funk was also a really good song that came out this year. Maybe number 2?]